27 August 2004
It seems like something is very wrong with my computer. Am unable to update my blog. Tried using Xanga.com, also unable to. Just have to type it here in Words first and transfer later.
Anyway, we quarreled again. He called me last night, told me he going to Malaysia to work already. Asked him what position, where and when, he refuse to say. Only told me he will be a Duty Manager then. Tried to get the information from him, he was all the while trying to irritate me.
I started to lose my patience and start to shout at him. He still persists. He then said something like, “Actually a lot of hotels did call me up but I rejected them.”
I was really pissed off then. Told him he has wasted my time and money. Asked him to give everything back to me. Just could not control myself then. Tears was rolling down my cheeks already then.
We put down the phone. I still could not get over it. Message him some nasty messages. Did it a total of 6 times, all in capital letters. By then, he called me and scold me. He said something that really woke me up. “You always say do not know because you do not trust people. You must trust yourself first then you can trust others.”
He was right. Very true… I admit. I did not have 100% trust in him at times. I do feel very insecure at times. I just cannot help it.
He called again the second time. Tried to remain calm. The thought about what I messaged him pissed him off. Started to lose his cool already. Decided not to talk to me anymore.
I felt guilty… Real guilty then. What he had said then is still spinning round my head.
Manage to fall asleep. But woke up before 9am. Tossed and turned in bed till 10am.
At work, the computers were corrupted. Was left nothing to do for half an hour or so. Had a chat with Adeline. It has been a long time since I told her stuff. Told her about David. She say how silly can I be to give him my number. I did not know he is that type of person until he got my number. If I knew, I would not have done so.
Later in the evening, Eric messaged me. It was regarding the gathering on next Saturday. It is confirmed. We may be going karaoke after that. So exciting. So long never meet up with them already. Hope Dear have forgiven me by then. I am really sorry dear. I have realized I am at fault this time round.
After work, called him to wake him up. Went to have dinner with Rebecca at Raffles City foodcourt. Ate yong-tau-foo. After that, called him again. Was thinking of buying food for him. He did not answer the call. Called me back when I was in the MRT. Sounded very angry. I know he is still pissed off with me. Put down the phone shortly after that.
Reached home, messaged him, asking him to cool down. He did not reply my message since then. Wonder will he call me tonight? I guess very unlikely he will. Shall I call him later? I really do not know. Guess our Sunday’s outing will be cancelled. ALL MY FAULT!!!
{&i'll hold on till the end of time-}
9:43 PM